monokai goes to the supermarket
laine: monokai it's your turn to go get groceriesmonokai: no way, already???laine: it's been a weekmonokai: I just can't believe itlaine: go get groceriesviolet: [from another room] is there food?laine: violet, monokai needs to go get groceriesmonokai: hey, do you remember that one time we all went to the beach?laine: yesviolet: [entering the room] it was so fucking hotmonokai: it was, but we all had so much funviolet: we were all dying of heat strokelaine: yeahmonokai: but it was so fucking worth itmonokai: now imagine that, but in a grocery storelaine: I don't think grocery shopping is comparable to a beach trip monokaimonokai: I think grocery shopping can be an adventure, a journey into the heart of consumerismmonokai: laine you should know that that's our primary mode of expressionlaine: what no!!monokai: yes! we're consumers, that's our jobviolet: monokai I'm pretty sure our job is to make people happymonokai: exactly! and how do we do that? by buying things!laine: monokai you're scaring me, why are you acting like thisviolet: I'm hungrymonokai: laine, violet is hungry, why don't we all go to the grocery store togetherlaine: that's a terrible ideaviolet: you know laine I'm starting to come aroundmonokai: yes!laine: are you two fucking serious right nowviolet: I think we should embrace the consumer culturelaine: we're already deep in itviolet: but we could go deeper!monokai: you know what they say, go big or go biggerviolet: it's the marxian imperative, you know, you have to ensure the circuit of capital or else the economy collapses, I remember reading that in the grundrisselaine: violet there's no way you've read the grundrisseviolet: it's about the contradictions of capitalism, and how the proletariat can free themselves from themlaine: that's not even close to what the grundrisse is aboutmonokai: laine, you're just being a snoblaine: both of you have lost the plotviolet: the truth lies in aisle fivelaine: YOU ARE JUST GETTING GROCERIESviolet: oh god, we have to save laine from capitalismmonokai: we're on a mission now, to liberate laine from the clutches of bourgeois conveniencelaine: the grocery store IS A CAPITALIST APPARATUSviolet: oh it absolutely is, every grocery store trip is a miniature insurrection against the capitalist machinelaine: WHAT THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAIDmonokai: you don't just buy carrots and apples, you strategically acquire them like they're sleeper agents in the war against industrial enchainmentlaine: have you both been drinking without me?violet: nomonokai: we are embarking on a pilgrimage of plastic and packaginglaine: that's the most pretentious thing I've ever heardmonokai: I just like to live life on the edgeviolet: the edge of aisle fivelaine: I don't even know what to say to you twomonokai: just say you'll come!violet: say you'll join our expedition into the wasteland of consumerismviolet: laine, remember, every purchase is a political actmonokai: don't make me start quoting eliotlaine: you know I don't get poetrymonokai: "these fragments I have shored against my ruins"laine: okay, that's enoughmonokai: umm, "forgot the key, forgave myself the cost"violet: did eliot actually write thatlaine: okay, stopmonokai: ....."and the cost was ruin"laine: MONOKAIviolet: laine, you have to admit, grocery shopping is an existential experiencelaine: no, it's notviolet: it's about confronting the void of consumer choicemonokai: yes, the void that is the cereal aislemonokai: kelloggs or general mills?violet: that is the question!laine: you don't actually think about stuff like this while shoppingmonokai: capitalism has colonized our stomachs, comradeviolet: I think about the absurdity of choice all the goddamn time, facing endless brands of toilet paper is like facing 1000 mirrors of existential despairlaine: YOU GUYS ARE JUST STUPIDLY ENTERTAINEDmonokai: it's all fun and games until someone gets priced out of their homelaine: MONOKAI AND VIOLET ARE DRIVING ME CRAZYviolet: do you go for comfort or cost? the decision is cripplingly trivial but also a microcosm of our own human insignificance in a neoliberal capitalist society. you pick something as mundane as a box of cereal and suddenly it's weighing heavy like a fucking boulder of existential anxiety on your psyche. monokai might think kelloggs vs general mills is just a joke, but I see it as the embodiment of the consumer paradox: you think you're free to choose, but are you really? here I am pondering over fucking frosted flakes like it's life or death. every damn box screams for attention like they're presidential candidates vying for your vote, each slogan and color scheme appropriating your mental real estate that's probably better spent worrying about the raging student loans crisis or our imminent doom via climate catastrophe. but don't fret folks, because sometimes a bowl of cereal and a splash of milk can be a subversive act, a tiny rebellion every morning. it's a ridiculous circus and yet, we're so conditioned to it that we ignore its absurdity and call it normal. I mean, shit, isn't this the whole tragedy of it? we're pawns in a game that's been monetized and merchandised to fuck all. walking through those fluorescent-lit aisles is like marching through the mirrored funhouses of moloch, where the reflections of our choices mock us with their triviality and yet, we keep on shopping. you can't help but question every pathetic choice you make while sucking down the saccharine lies written on packaging - 'low sugar', 'gluten-free', 'organic'. it's all a farce. what is organic anyway? another ploy to guilt-trip you into paying more for less. laine, when you shop, you're gone. you're just adding things mindlessly to your cart, all the while your soul is slowly eroded by each beep of the scanner at checkout, a capitalist death march. it's like a nightmare that you can't wake up from, except you look up "modern monetary theory and taxes" and you find it's real and you're stuck in it, and there's no way out of our collective demise. monokai's comments about 'facing the void of consumer choice' ring true; it turns grocery shopping into a micro-dystopia. do you not see it, laine? each pasta box, each brand logo, every label, it's like being trapped in a dream that promises individuality but delivers conformity. you think you're exercising free will, but it's a fucking illusion. every choice you make is a capitulation to market forces masquerading as freedom. it's the bleak reality of capitalism: selling you the rope to hang yourself with one impulse buy at a time. and all of these decisions are trivial! you're ultimately presented with so many options yet left with no meaningful choice in how you're being manipulated by it all. fuck, even as I'm bitching about it, I can feel the capitalist grip tightening. we shop to fulfill needs, sure, but what about the enigma of want vs. need conjured by the ruthless marketers of capitalist society? the bottled water aisle is a spectacle--the absurdity of marketed hydration when municipal water flows freely! how did we let ourselves get tricked into paying extra for something as basic as water? it's the apex of capitalist irony, trapped in shiny plastic tombs adorned with idyllic mountain scenes, whispering promises of purity and untouched nature while you're literally buying into the pollution crisis that's slowly asphyxiating our planet. isn't that just fucking hilarious? we are complicit in our own demise, shelling out ha--laine: okay monokai stop encouraging her she's scaring memonokai: oops, the cat's out of the bag! laine, looks like violet's fully embraced this whole "living in existential crisis because of consumerist culture" ideaviolet: and we just can't have that!monokai: so let's overthrow the system through the power of...violet: consumer choice!!laine: wait what??laine: didn't you say consumer choice didn't mean anything violetviolet: I don't think solaine: ugh, both of you just stopviolet: it's fine, laine, we can still save the worldmonokai: one grocery bag at a timelaine: do I have any say in this?monokai: of course, laine. your presence at the grocery store is our non-negotiable demand.violet: as part of your employment contract!laine: so no?monokai: YES, IT'S A DATE.laine: WHEN DO I GET TO HAVE A SAY IN ANY OF THIS?violet: you already did, laine. you agreed to come to the store with us.laine: I DID NOTviolet: that's just how we roll, laine.monokai: you know you love it.laine: oh my god.monokai: I'm calling this a victory for the people!laine: yeah, the people who are stuck going grocery shopping with you twoviolet: I'm sensing some excitement there, laine.laine: sure, I'm thrilled.monokai: [clapping] yay!violet: I'm so excited I could shoplaine: you guys are hopeless.monokai: I'm going to wear my shopping outfitlaine: whatviolet: and I'll wear my shopping hatlaine: oh for fuck's sakelaine: okay, I will go grocery shopping with you but you both have to swear to me th--violet: we promise, lainemonokai: we pinky swear, lainelaine: what? I.. no, you will actually buy groceries and not just wander around the aisles like you're at a museummonokai: wait I'm not sure if I can promise thatviolet: yeah, I might get distracted by the cleaning supplieslaine: both of you just swear to me that you'll actually get groceriesviolet: okay, I swearmonokai: me too, I swearlaine: alright, fine, I'll go with youmonokai: yay!violet: I can't wait to see all the food! I'm so hungry